Did you know, back in the Dark Ages (depending on how old you are, think about your mom, grandma, or great-grandma), men and women chose each other (in part) based on the economic value each brought to the household and ultimately, the family.
Men, of course, worked outside the home--a good job, stability, and income potential, therefore ranked high on the scale of do I or don't I, say I do! Women, on the other hand, were rated on the value of their home production.
So, what is home production? According to author and researcher Alex Roberts (see his essay in Marriage & The Great Recession, State of our Unions 2009, National Marriage Project, University of Virginia, www.stateofourunions.org), at one time families had to bring in cash as well as produce home-grown services most of us in the 21st Century either pay for, or provide with little effort. Services such as growing vegetables, making bread from scratch, churning butter, hand-wringing clothing, sewing clothes. Examples like these represent the "home production" economic value women brought to earlier marriages.
Women still provide the majority of "home production" services in families. However, technology allows us to do things more easily than in our grandmothers' day. We can buy fresh vegetables instead of having to grow our own gardens. We are able to buy clothing not only in stores, but on-line. Life is indeed easier (in these respects). So easy, chances are a man could provide these very same services for himself--whether he's married or not!
Today, several studies indicate men and women tend to consider each other's earning power--meaning pay checks, not home production services--when they shop for mates. However, home production remains a staple of family living--few of us could afford to pay others to provide all of the services or to fulfill all of the needs required, day-to-day.
When shopping for a mate or when making a decision about marriage, have you ever thought about the "home production" value your potential husband brings to bear on your relationship and economic future?
Consider these various services a mate might offer, and then decide if they are services you, as a wife, would consider important to your family's economic future:
- Mows the grass and weeds the garden
- Knows how to change the oil in the car
- Can fix a broken toilet
- Knows when the car or the toilet is broken
- Can iron his shirts and hankies
- Willing/can change a diaper
- Will read to the kids and help with homework
- Will feed the kids something other than popcorn and soda
- Not afraid to hang a picture and knows how to use a level
- Grocery shops and brings home real food
- Can cook real food and clean up the kitchen
- Can fix almost anything and if not, is not afraid to hire a professional
Any others you can think of? Add them to the list, drop the ones that either are not important to you or that you'd rather pay someone else to do (instead of nagging him!).
Other Midlifeventures News
Anyone interested in participating in our pilot groups later this summer, let Deanna (deanna@rainandbrehm.com) know, or post a comment to below. If you send Deanna your email address, she'll send you written information on our project, and what is involved!
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